Friday, June 30, 2006
Oh yes! the chinese o's orals are OVER! and i have to say that, it was rather easy for an oral examination judging from the passage and the topic they gave. PHEW! but i really have to say that, MY CHINESE ORAL CANNOT MAKE IT. :D i don't know why i seem so jubilant about my inability to converse in chinese.
In the waiting room were 4 groups of people and approximately 80 people. the canidates had to go to the front of the AV room and practise reading their passage while we were all looking at them. i was one of the last few, so i sat behind together with ben wee all that. i presume you should know what happend. we made a lot of noise and mrs bala had to come and scold us many times. then the timekeeper mr chew was like "you all talk so much, later i give you 5 seconds to read not 5 minutes" LOL.
The climax was when it was jansen's turn to go in front and read. that "smart" guy just had to make a fool out of himself by, dragging the chair SOOOO LOUDLY before he sat and after he left. LOL. it was intentional. the group of us started laughing like mad. it was really loud, as if the frictional forces between the leg of the chair and the floor was immense. all 80 pairs of eyes were on him as he made his grand leave from the room.
That was not all! next, JJ (junjie) went in front. he wasn't any worst than jansen in attracting attention. LOL. he began to read the passage LOUDLY diligently(by the way, we are supposed to read it softly, as there was 3 other people practising). it was not intentional. HAHA. but it was just so funny. everyone around started laughing. i laughed till my face turned red. even mr chew also laughed. poor JJ. he was in a state of oblivion to the commotion he had created.
Soon, it was my turn. only then had i realised how soon the oral was. LOL. i had not even prepared for it at all i have to admit. i just began to pray and God's peace just came upon me. i was rather calm for someone who should be more worried about passing his chinese. thank you Lord! :)
The passage was quite easy. that's because it was SIMILAR to my mid year chinese oral. I AM SERIOUS. the words and all. mid year's oral was something about holiday and SO WAS TODAY'S! but i completely stoned/blanked out when it was my time to read it. i guess reading takes practice.
I have two rather pleasant and nice examiners. they smiled at me at many occasions, giving me a sense of assurance and support. i must be really thankful to God that the topic asked today was very easy. and i think i've done it before, somewhere. i was quite happy for a moment. my joy was shortlived. if it was in english i would be able to speak in confidence with all my content and all. BUT, i realised i didn't know how to bring out my pointers in chinese. ahhh. same as the mid year's. nevermind it's okay. and one thing was that, I KEPT LAUGHING through the conversation. same problem again during chinese orals. i guess i was laughing at my inability to speak in chinese properly. LOL. oh well, that's my personality, one who laughs at every other thing.
The topic was about "whether teenagers can endure hardships" or something along that line. IT'S SO EASY. i mean compared to yesterday's topic on "appreciation on art, music and CME classes" or something like that. the examiners asked me a total of 3 questions, which might not be a very good sign. i just didn't know how to reply in chinese. ben wee said i took quite long. YAY! for once. no more less than 5minutes oral anymore.
ANYWAY, i really want to thank God for bringing me through this hurdle. although i didn't speak that well, i am thankful that it was not any worse. really! i want to thank God for the easy passage, easy topic and nice examiners. :D
Posted at 5:25 PM 0 comments
Sunday, June 25, 2006
PRELIMS IS IN 10 WEEKS TIME!
(and so is my birthday, haha)
TIME TO WAKE UP AND GET SERIOUS!
(alarm clock ringing in the background)
yeah. i really have to be focused this time round (both studies and spiritually).
please try not to distract me yeah? (eg. dont ask me go play or whatever)
thanks. :)
Posted at 10:18 PM 0 comments
Thursday, June 22, 2006
i'm sorry, richard gere wasn't the only one who bought all the birds because...
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because apparently jonathan and handy had bought some birds as well. HAHA.
me, handy and elgin went to raffles city after prayer meeting. it's a super classy place. and im loving it. our journey to find the high class toilet on the level 5, which is the convention level, has enlighten us.
and i realised that there are... FOUR (maybe five) GRAND PIANOS THERE. AHHH. i almost fainted when i saw one. and i realised there were three others lying around. it was as if they were there for DECORATIVE PURPOSES?! grand piano to decorate and add class to the place?! please stop robbing the pianos of its potential and beauty. ahhh. with people like me dying to play one. please stop it. just kidding.
i had always longed to play on the grand piano. AND I HAD MY PERFECT CHANCE. :D i gave in to my itchy fingers and played on it. afterall, there was no BIG sign that said "HANDS OFF THE PIANO LEST YOU BE FINED $1000". elgin even asked me to pose with it to take a photo.
one of the four grand pianos that were lying around.
this just looks so erm..action? haha.
i've thought that what would happen if i turned that picture into a low grade album cover. and i did it! Jonathan Clayderman. haha! because richard clayderman is my favourite pianist (for now). and my favourite song (at the moment) "Mariage de amour" which is made famous by him. actually not so la. and of course the first song i played on a grand piano was "Mariage de amour", the theme part. but i stopped and closed the piano when someone approached. i just love the swing and the mood of the song. and i also like it for some other reason. :)
Jonathan Clayderman and his debut album. okay, i should stop dreaming.
okay. back to reality. jonathan is no richard clayderman and will never be one. haha. i will just remain as a "jt status". okay. i make no sense.
anyway, to a more serious side of today. prayer meeting was awesome. God really showed us the condition of our hearts and the people out ther. we really need to get back to cultivating a habit and desire to intercede. yeah. really. it should not be limited to just the prayer meetings. prayer meeting shouldn't be just a time when we come and shed a few tears for the people out there and feel for the needs of the people for that one hour or so.
IT SHOULD BE EVERYDAY!
I believe God is really teaching us to persevere in our prayers and not give up so easily. that applies alot for me. i always give up easily when praying for something over a few days. but i will not let that happen this time.
Lord, please help me. lives are at stake.
Posted at 11:59 PM 0 comments
Friday, June 16, 2006
I believe every photo holds a particular significance to the person who took it or the person who is viewing it. It is all a matter of how you want to look at a photo, a picture, a source. A photo can bring out different meanings. This photo as shown above, and also on the banner of my blog, holds much significance to me. It did not have much significance then, however, it does especially so in this period of my life.
For the past two months, i have been rather troubled about where i would go next year. Victoria Junior College? I had serious doubts about my ability to enter in ever since my depressing grades and my rather unfortunate CCA grade. Never before, was i so anxious about my future. To many, i seemed like a happy go lucky sort of person. I was never such a person. I am a person who is always deep in thought about every other thing in life, from a small issue of why someone had ignored me to a big issue of my future. I really like to think a lot. It has a downside to it. I always thought what was best for me without the consultation of God. Such pride i have in such matters really pains the heart of God. I was never able to trust God in where i would go.
"So what on earth does that have to do with that photo?", you may ask.
God spoke to me through it, that i was like a mountain climber beginning his journey up the mountain. And i had to set my eyes on Him at the finish line which is depicted in the photo as the cross representing God and the peak of the mountain representing the finishing line. I don't know how to explain it, but i hope you get a picture of it. I really must keep my focus on Him and trust Him for the path He wants me to take up this "mountain" in my life. It's really amazing how God can speak to me through such a photo in times like these.
And just the day before i was rather encouraged by this verse Jeremiah 29:11-14, particularly verse 11. I came across it on calista's MSN nickname. It really spoke to me. It says..
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11
Yes. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Now i know that whatever the future may hold for me, God knows what is best for me. I may not be able to comphrehend it with my human knowledge, but i just know it. Now i really hope i will be able to believe in that verse all the days of my life. Words are easy to say, but it is really the actions which are hard to carry out. I really thank you God for your assurance. I no longer need to worry about where my future lies. Because i know my future is in Your hands.
I really love you, God, who cares so much for me. I am sorry for the times i have doubted you about my future. I am sorry for the many times i have bruised your heart. I thank you for bringing me to You, once again.
Posted at 10:22 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
two days passed very quickly. very soon it was the end of another church camp. this time it was the "Night Encounter Camp" which lasted from 13th to 14th june. i went to the camp as a helper, not really expecting things to happen in my life but rather in the lives of the young ones going there and also to help out with the games, worship leading and stuffs. and i tell you, God really moved MIGHTLY. those who had been to the camp can testify. two years ago, i went for the encounter camp at this same time as one who was on the receiving end. this time , two years later, i went as a helper and still received much. time really passes so fast.
through this camp there were actions that i should not have done and other stuff that didnt turn out that well. but i learn that it is through such experiences that i learn and not commit the same mistake again.
in just these mere two days, i could God transforming the lives of many people. many came to the camp with hearts that were not open to God, many came without knowing God at a personal level. but through the various sessions i could really see how God has been transforming their lives literally inwardly and outwardly.
the first session was about the love of God as our father. so many hurts and rejections were unearthed and people just began to sought healing from the Lord. people who had broken family backgrounds, people who had broken relationships with their parents and siblings. all these hurts were healed at that very moment. it's already amazing how God reveals us all these hidden hurts and gets rid of them. and i believe that many of them were changed from that very moment. as i stood there and watched i was touched too. touched by the way God healed the multitude of hurts in my life.
in the afternoon was the games session. finally, it was our (the helpers) show to run. it was the second time we were in charge of games, the first being the "Adventure Unlimited" night hike last december. the games was mad. me and dudley got scolding because we got too bored and ended up disrupting the other station's game when we got engaged in "warfare" with certain other people. the station games ended up with a grand finale. yes. almost everybody got wet. a number of us were drenched. before i could even get my bath, they helped me to bathe by wetting me from head to toe, outside, inside, everywhere. haha. nevermind, as i said to the teams at my station, "there is this process called evaporation" haha! what "words of wisdom". i was targetted by a certain few people *ahem ahem* you should know who you are, and i was the target of their waterbomb, bucket filled with water, everything else wet attacks. HAHA!
at night we had delieverance session. God's annointing and power was there. many people were delivered from spirits and their sins. it was a first time for most of them. it really brought out the reality of all this evil spirits that we keep within ourselves unknowingly when we open our lives for them to enter. i had to pray for a few people, and i learned that i had authority in the name of Jesus to cast them out. the spirits responded when i commanded them to leave in the name of Jesus. then that night i was unusually led by God, not something which i would normally do. i just spoke forth the word as prompted and it was accurate. and what came to me, douglas also felt the same thing when we were praying for elden.
soon bedtime came, and i did not bring my sleeping bag. i tried to sleep on the hard, cold floor to no avail. i tried for 30minutes and ended up with a pain ankle and a hurt hipbone. HAHA. i think it's because i'm too boney. i ended up sleeping on the sofa in the annex.
it was the final session the next morning. we began to share in our groups. soon the time came for the closing part. pastor ben challenged the people and gave an altar call, asking who would want to live their lives for God or something like that. all the guys responded. and that moment of time, THE PRESENCE OF GOD WAS SUPER STRONG AND GOT STRONGER LATER. it really has been sometime since i've last felt so strongly. then we prayed for the people who responded, with one person praying for one. and i was SHOCKED at how i was able to pray and it was super powerful. and i have to admit it ISNT LIKE ME. it was the power and the annointing of God. people just starting falling under the power of God, and it wasn't just pastor ben who prayed then they fell, it was us. i was shocked at how much God empowered and used us! at that very moment i knew that it wasn't just the pastor who could pray powerfully and all. but if we were willing and with God's annointing and empowerment we were able to do the same. there was a deep conviction among the people. i was just stunned. God wasn't done.
next, pastor ben asked us (the helpers) to form a row in the front as he wanted to pray for us. he stood one to two metres away from us and started to pray. there was no physical contact at all. suddenly, God's presence and power began to come to fill the place. and some of us fell under the power of God. at this very moment i knew it had to be God. people think that people fall is because the pastors push them down. but it isn't true. he was like a distance away from us, so that really dismisses that theory. God's presence just began to engulf me. i felt numb in my legs, arms and face. it wasn't just the normal numbness. i didn't feel the cold of the aircon even though i was freezing a moment ago. it was indeed the presence of God. that scene and feeling was SO VERY FAMILIAR. 3 and half years ago in december 2002 in a youth camp, it was that exact way that i had a first encounter with God. that encounter changed my life completely.
i knew God had cancelled the chemistry lessons for a reason. if there was still chemistry on i wouldn't be able to attend most of the camp. BUT few days before the camp i was informed that chemistry was cancelled. God wanted to renew my spirit and soul. i came to the camp expecting nothing, but went back receiving more than i could ever imagine. that renewal of my mind and my soul. that empowerment. that courage and boldness. that desire to really read and study the word of God. the list goes on. my life will never be the same. my walk with God has really progressed to a whole new level. but it doesn't end here. this is only a start. what matters most is how i will live my life from now onwards. now i really want to start studying the bible, building my knowledge in the word of God and to really fill my mind with God's word.
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to God's word" -Psalm 119:9
yes. this verse from the book of psalm really spoke much to me the importance of God's word, which is found in the bible. exciting times with God i look forward to in the days to come. the reality of God is indeed so real.
Posted at 9:33 PM 0 comments
Monday, June 12, 2006
after much procastination and waiting, and upon resquests from people who wanted to me to blog about church retreat, here it is! it's not that i dont want blog about it. it's just too much to say. so i shall summarize it up.
this retreat has indeed been one that has passed very fast despite it being a 4days, 3 nights camp. i had to make sacrifices to go for this retreat, particularly the choice of not joining my classmates' for their geog trip to KL. until now, i still do not regret my decision.
why so? you may ask. because it was during these period of time i was really able to free myself from all the stress and busy-ness of life in Singapore. my mind worked at a much slower pace, allowing me to really to focus, concentrate and hear from God. it's really amazing how seperating yourself from the sinful pleasures of the computer, television and handphone can really free your mind so much.
i came to the retreat with no expectations from God but rather for the wrong motives of having fun, shopping, etc. however, God still chose to show me so much. he still continued to reveal to me more and more things about myself that i do not know. i began to question "why did God even bother to bring me back to Him in the first place?" , "where would i be if God had not brought me back?". these questions occupied my mind for the first night. i was shocked at His response. it was because he didnt want to see me so far away from Him. many times, many of us christians question God why He doesnt show Himself to them, but we fail to realize that God is always waiting for us to come to Him and we are the ones instead who fail to show ourselves to God.
i thought and cried when i questioned myself "where would i be if God had not brought me back to Him?" would i have commited sucide out of depression? would i have been the same cheerful person people knew? would i be one that still bothered to think about the welfare of others? would i be doing well in my studies? would i even have ran away from home? i just began listing down all the possibilites which indeed were very possible senarios, as i knew that would certainly happened if my life remained the same. afterall, nobody but myself and God knew how much i went through in the past. if not for Him, the hurts and rejection accumulated from my past would have eaten me up and turned me into a beast, devoid of love and compassion. a self-centered person who lived for no one but himself. i do not want to think any further.
on the session of the last night, He began to unearth something in my heart. it explained why i had acted in such a particular way towards my sister in the past and present. then, i began to realise that my sister was one the people i looked up to, one i admired greatly. and so in the past i wanted her attention, and tried to achieve it through actions and ways that disgusted and turned her off.
as years passed from primary one to primary six to where i am right now, the growth of hurt and rejection i had in return from her began to grow silently. the more i wanted her attention, the more i acted as if i hated her and all. rejection is greatest when it comes from the person whom you admire and love the most. and i guessed that was the case here. as a result of my attention seeking ways in primary school, my sister detested me and there was not much sibling relationship or communication (except through fighting).
it hurt my parents' heart (and still is) to see me and my sister showing no love for each other. i have always longed to experience true sibling love and wished that me and my sister would be like other siblings out there. everytime i see people communicating and going along so well with their siblings i would get jealous. i always wished i had a younger sibling to take care of or an older sibling that would take care of me. now my sister's going to study in london not long from now, and im still acting in fake joy and oblivion. im sure God showed me all these for a reason. i know it's very personal, but some how i feel i should just let it all out. my only hope in my heart is that one day i would be able to go out with my sister.
other than personal matters, God revealed much to me through the lives of others. i was encouraged by the testimonies of others, the healings that took place, how much the young ones have grown in their faith. im just so amazed at what God is doing for us as one whole body, both the adults and the youths TOGETHER, not just in the lives of the youths.
there were many fun times too. the chance of playing with the babies, the pillow fight at an "abandoned floor", the pizza hut incident, the time when we raid other rooms and i was locked in by _______ & _______, the trip back when the tire of my coach got punctured literally and many more.. me and handy really slept the most among the guys. every morning we would be the last few to wake up and go down for breakfast. while others woke up at 6-7, there were sleeping till 8+ before going down for breakfast. really got to know alot of people much better through the camp. i really thank God for such a good time.
im sorry to those who expected me to focus on the details of the fun parts of the camp, but i decided that focusing more on the things of the spiritual than fun things is better "food for thought". anyway here are some photos upon request. i've decided to be nice and not post pictures of people sleeping. i might change my mind. :)
Photos of the various little kids:
Photos of people who fell victim to the name tag sticker:
Other photos:
A rather disturbing malaysian drain.
this scene just looks so funny.
No, my roommate isn't dead.
the people who enjoyed their pizza hut.
me being strangled by jerrold and ben seck with haofeng behind.
this is what happens when you sleep late. (it's a posed shot)
the aftermath of blindfold catching in elgin's room.
my roommates- handy, gavin and myself.
one of the many flies that got killed by us in the coach when a swarm of them entered our coach.
elden with his bubblegum with myself.
that's all for now. there are many many more funny photos and videos, but i have decided not to put them up for one reason or another. so what you see may be quite boring. okay. hope you enjoyed this rather long post.
Posted at 3:01 PM 0 comments
Sunday, June 11, 2006
i've decided to change the the "banner" of my blog.
the photo was taken when i was up on one of the mountains in switzerland. i was fascinated to find a cross and a church up there on a nearby mountain and my camera went snapping.
please comment. i have just started this comment thingy as you can see at the bottom of every post. :)
and the theme is "God leads the road ahead". very relevent to my life right now. Me being so unsure about my future (particularly about which JC i'll go to), i'll just have to allow God to lead the way.
my dad just got my sis a new macbook yesterday or the day before. and woah.. it's like so cool. it was the first time i touched a mac and i found it so easy to use. she needs a laptop as she's going london to study and i think she requires one.
i will update about the retreat later on if i have the blogging feeling.
Posted at 5:20 PM 2 comments
Friday, June 09, 2006
to whoever who posed as certain people, me included, on my tagboard, please stop being childish and find a better thing to do. im serious. i do not like people using my name or other people's name to tag in vain.
anyway to other people, i was away from 6-9th June, so whatever that was posted as me wasn't me. and the posts have already been deleted.
i'll update about the church retreat later.
Posted at 8:13 PM 0 comments
Friday, June 02, 2006
i am having a sudden craving for want want flavoured milk drink. HAHA. try it. it's nice!
Posted at 11:45 PM 0 comments
yesterday was a rather interesting and weird day. why not? with a rather "interesting encounter" at mac's as stated in the last part of my post. haha.
i went to robinsons (raffles city outlet) and i bought my first lego set SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL. haha. my mom offered to buy me that set.
i grew up with lego. lego was like my everything last time. all i could do all day was to play lego or play computer games in kindergarten. almost everytime i go robinsons with my parents, half the time i would come back with a new set. that was happy living back then.
lego was like an incentive for me to study in primary school. everytime i did well, i could buy a set. or in the more extreme cases in primary 6, i had to assessments and all to be able to get a set. HAHA. i still remember i had to complete 20 other schools' chinese papers so i can open up the UFO lego set. LOL. now i know why i didn't really do well last time. because i studied for the wrong reasons. luckily, i didn't continue this unhealthy habit in secondary school and have stopped buying anymore lego sets.
there was this lego fair set up by robinsons in the atrium. there were many great discounts and many not so fantastic exhibits.
i bought the bionicle as shown in the last picture. haha! looks cool right. i also came across this rather cute looking shop in raffles city as shown below.
after my raffles city trip, i went to meet the other guys from church to plan the games for the mini overnight camp. we had our post dinner meal at potong pasir mac's. i was certainly apalled at the attitude of the manager who served me at the counter. i bought a $1 coke + a 50cent ice cream cone to make my own DIY ice cream float. the ice cream i received was pathetic in size, probably enough to feed my pet cockroach. (no i don't have one) Just look how minute it is.
so clarence and leslie suggested that i should return the ice cream back and asked for another. so leslie returned the cone back to the female manager and ask for another.
"the ice cream is inside the cone.." she replied in a bo chup manner.
"is this the usual amount you all would give?" leslie answered, pointing at the petite
ice cream cone.
after realising she could not longer answer back, she was dumbfounded. she took the ice cream cone and just FLUNG THE ICE CREAM CONE into the open space on her right. i SUPPOSE there is a dustbin there. how long had she practised that move? she DID NOT EVEN AIM LEH. that was how attitude she was. i was taken aback by her behaviour. william was like saying "wasted lah, should have videoed that down" HAHA. then i can youtube.com it.
so much so for the government's relentless efforts in pushing for good service. why did that happen? is it because potong pasir is the opposition party's area so can don't have good service there is it? HAHA. maybe it's just women. just kidding.
Posted at 8:01 PM 0 comments