Sunday, June 03, 2007
okay, i shall now blog about my thoughts towards the vietnam trip since i have nothing much to do at home this sunday afternoon.
i guess this trip has left a big mark in my life. i was taught the plain truth that economic wealth does not equate happiness in life. yet why do we still chase after it in life? i really wonder why. i met this little girl in a village in vietnam. she had a face filled with sweetness and a character full of innocence. she seemed so carefree and happy seeing us. she took out some gifts from her pouch and gave them to us. they were folded paper cranes and small flowers. i know i will never be able to find a child like that in singapore, with the exception of a small minority. we live in a society where we outgrow our innocent self too quickly.
just before we left for the airport,we had this cultural exchange with university students. the university over there wasn't much of a university in my point of view, in terms of the building. i can say that our primary school facilities are much better. BUT, there was a clear distinction of personalities between our students and theirs. they seemed so happy and all, playing those childish ice-breaker games that we ourselves mock.
i then asked myself, "why is it so unfair that they are so happy while here we are in singapore feeling so unhappy and depressed about life".
this was one of the few photos i took from my phone. the lady seemed so happy even though it clearly shows the lack of affluence in her life.
when the plane landed in singapore, i just felt a sense of emptiness, lostness and sadness. i had came back to reality. i missed the days in vietnam. i knew i couldn't find what i saw in vietnam here in singapore.
besides happiness, i've seen the other extreme of emotion - sadness, hatred and sorrow. we were sitting outside this bakery very late at night at around 10 something when 2 kids approached us. their eyes spoke a million words and were filled with deep sorrow. their glare still remained deep in my head. it was the first time i had ever encountered such a situation as i have never visited such countries before. i wanted badly to give them some money not bothering whether or not it was a fake, but i was told not to give them any by my friends as it was dangerous. the feeling of possessing so much and not being able to help really sucks.
okay, on a less serious tone, the trip was indeed fun. BUT there were horrible times, like when i got molested by the pervertic female shop owners in the indoor market. the lady shop owners keep touching us when we walked by their shops and there was one who touched my abs. OH SHEESH. i was totally freaked out. i was like @#!@#!%!%. my friends got touched too. poor us.
i went to vietnam with my floorball friends. a total of 8 of us. i was a bit worried at first if i would feel left out as out of the 5 guys, 4 were from cat high previously and i was the only non-cat high. it didn't turn out so bad after all.
we really had much fun together cabbing everywhere out of the hotel on our own during free time, the late-nights together, the crazy shopping spree for clothes, the bargaining, etc. i'm glad i have gotten to know my team-mates better through the trip and i've had a chance to see the different sides of their personalities. but i have to admit i was quite emo and dao at certain times of the trip. i'm really a person who enjoys the company of friends and at the same time like quiet moments to myself. when i'm tired, i didn't really talk much either.. i guessed i put aside my position as captain during the trip and really be myself, not being afraid of what others would say or think.
oh yes, i think i have become more cheena after mixing with them for the past week. all the chinese songs, chinese dramas, chinese stuffs they talk about has made me more cheena i guess. i come from a very english background and do not speak a word of chinese at home my whole life except when communicating with my grandmother. both my primary and secondary schools were very english and had a bad reputation of producing students with lousy chinese standards. the friends i mixed with were very english and chinese was non-existent then. when i entered vjc, everything changed as i mixed with more cheena friends. ahh. oh yes, not to mentioned being laughed and mocked at. don't worry, it's really some thing we, the chinese-cannot-make-it vs students, go through..
i hope life gets better from here on..
i don't know how i'm going to spend my holidays. i have so many groups of friends to go out and catch up with from everywhere. plus, i have training like almost everyday. goodness. not to mention i have to study for my midyears lest i fail terribly.
life goes on...
terrible reality...
Posted at 5:50 PM
