Friday, October 20, 2006

I have been thinking whether to blog or not to blog. Recently, I have had a dying interest for blogging, knowing that readership of this little publicised blog is dwindling as the days go by. A lack of 'life' in this life of mine (no pun intended), really bears no reason for blogging.

Nevertheless, I have decided to blog today after reading my sister's blog.

It has been more than a month since my sister left for London to pursue her studies. The absence of her presence is indeed felt at home. Somehow, her departure really made me more concerned about her life. Something that I would have never done 4 years ago. I have been keeping her in my prayers daily, hoping that she would be doing well, wherever she is. I never really got much opportunities to talk to her ever since, the best being a 20minute phone call which I really treasured a lot.

I never did communicate well with my sister. I even created excuses not to add her on my MSN list, because I simply know I couldn't find the words to get a conversation going. Everytime she calls back, my dad would put the phone on loudspeaker mode so all of us can hear her, but I never talked to her, but all the while I was listening to every word she said. I really hate being unable to express myself properly. I guess it must have been the constant friction that we encountered frequently in the past.

I think I also can't really express myself much to certain people as well. Online, behind the cyber facade, I can talk my whole mind inside out. In the real world, there are just some people I can't talk properly to. It's really weird. I guess I'll be wrapped up all over again when I enter junior college.

Okay, I shall not deviate from the main focus of this post.

Ever since I found my sister's blog and started reading it, I became so proud of her (in addition to how proud I already was of her). I began to know her in a perspective I would not have known. She doesn't know that I read her blog, but maybe she will know if she knows my blog and reads this. My sister claims she's pretty closed up. I guess both of us siblings are alike. I don't like bothering people with my problems, I don't really like telling people how I feel, because I might just offend them. I always give in to others and ignore how I really feel against certain stuff. I only can open up to a certain few people whom I feel comfortable with, and you people must be really honoured. That's me. Perhaps my sister is the same. I might be wrong though.

I was quite touched by how my sister took care of her sick friend and all. How she had to survive on so little, and how much she really have to save. There was one thing she said that really brightened up my eyes. In her blog says..

"Ps. I just applied to be a studio assistant to this big shot photographer, who used to be a fashion photographer shooting kate moss blah.. now she photographs children. Its really quite an ideal job, keep me in prayer okay that He will keep the door open if it his will."

That's what I call a cool job. And it's like the photographer used to shoot Kate Moss! I think it would be every fashion photographer's dream to get to shoot Kate Moss, well being the queen of models. (Please note I do not really support the idea of flashy modelling) And now my sister might be working with one who worked with someone so high profile in photography. It seems my sister is closer than I am to becoming a professional photographer. I still have 4 months before I can embark on my "dream". Professional photographer? Haha. That was a joke. I never intended to be one. Although I wouldn't mind doing freelance photo shoots if I had the capability.

Okay, I think I better stop blogging or else I won't stop. These few days have been rather emotional. Ups and downs. It's really all part of life. Please keep me in prayers for my examination preparations. Thanks!

Posted at 9:45 PM